


To Forever Land

by yawhee



Category: Rule of Rose
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, implied suicidal thoughts, old fic I had on ffnet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawhee/pseuds/yawhee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The death of the Bird of Happiness may have affected Eleanor much more than first thought, and there are very few who seem to have any empathy towards her loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Forever Land

The Rose Garden Orphanage seemed to be tense today, more so than usual. You see, what had been only disappointment at first for Diana and Margaret, soon evolved into confusion, and further became not-so-subtle avoidance of the Countess of the Aristocrat Club.

As it was, both Diana and Meg had become satisfactorily upset after the other Aristocrats had pranked them. Eleanor, on the other hand, had seemingly given no reaction whatsoever when she became a victim of their cruelty. It was disappointing to the girls, to say the least. However, it soon began to nag at the back of the Wise-Looking Princess's mind. Sure, Eleanor had never been one to express much emotion in the past, but the prank they had done to her was probably the most vicious one, nearly as bad as all the punishments they had been putting Jennifer through. They had killed Eleanor's pet bird, the one thing the Cold Princess seemed to care about more than anything else. So why hadn't the girl reacted? She had non-chalantly given up the dead bird as a gift to the Aristocrat Club without so much as a hint of sadness or anger. It was...creepy, and Meg's insistance that there was something wrong with Eleanor was enough to make Diana wary as well.

And so, when even the Strong-Willed Princess began to avoid Eleanor, most of the other children followed suit. They weren't necessarily ignoring her as they were Jennifer, they just seemed to be staying away when they could. It did not seem to bother her, she was a rather quiet one after all, and so, though the air felt tense, today seemed like it would just be like any other day.

And just like any other day, the Quiet One was walking around the orphanage with her bird cage in hand as she did her weekly chores. The only difference, was that the cage was empty, and rattled as she walked. It was sweeping day today, so she would have to temporarily put her little cage down in each room she went to, as the broom was too large to sweep with using only one hand.

When she entered the playroom, Thomas was already in there, and could be seen crouching on the floor as he played with one of his favorite trains. She ignored him, and after setting her cage down she began to sweep around the room. For awhile, all that could be heard was the sound of sweeping and the rolling of plastic wheels.

"...Countess?" The voice was back where she had put down her cage. She quickly turned towards it, and saw the boy staring at it as he crouched near it, as if puzzled by what he saw.

"What happened to your bird?" The boy asked simply. Apparently, he'd never been told about what happened. She didn't say anything, and so he continued, "Did you give it as your gift to the Aristocrat Club?" Her grip tightened slightly on the broomstick handle.

"...Yes. I did." As usual, her face seemed blank, and didn't look at Thomas as she spoke.

"Oh..." He said, then added, "How come? I thought you liked your bird."

"...I just had to." She said simply, and had begun to sweep again, not really paying attention to whether or not she was actually gathering any dust.

"But why?" Thomas's head tilted slightly, his face concentrated-looking as if he were trying to solve one of Mr. Hoffman's complicated math problems, "I like my train a lot. I would never give it away, not even if it was the gift for the month."

Eleanor didn't answer. She just continued to sweep and sweep, until Thomas eventually got bored and began to play with his train again. He rolled it on the floor around the cage, over and over again but being careful not to touch it and accidentally scratch it. Soon, Eleanor was done, and she went over to her cage and picked it up. As she began to leave, Thomas spoke up again.

"I'm sure that your bird is ok," he assured her with a smile, "And, maybe Princess Wendy can force the Club to give it back to you. She's really nice."

"...I suppose she is." Eleanor looked at the Mischievous Prince, seeing a big innocent smile on his face. He was a trouble maker, but he wasn't a bad kid. He was naive too, much too naive for his own good. As a high-ranking Aristocrat Club member, Eleanor knew this. Meg had thought of many ways to put him and his naivety to good use, especially when it came to punishing Jennifer. But here he was, just a simple boy who liked trains who seemed to have an actual shred of concern for her. It was strange to her, and in a way, almost upsetting. This boy, a mere toy of the Aristocrat Club, seemed to care more about her feelings than her own supposed friends.

"...Countess?" Thomas said worriedly, interrupting her thoughts. She felt a grimace on her face, and realized that she must have scared the boy with her sudden mood change...or rather, sudden appearance of a mood. She hadn't meant to do that.

Eleanor quickly turned around and left the room, leaving a confused but quickly distracted Thomas behind. She bumped into someone as she left, but didn't even look to see who it was and just kept moving. She eventually found herself at her favorite spot: the outside terrace on the second floor. She stood there, looking at the trees and sky beyond the wretched orphanage, and felt more calm than she had just a couple minutes ago. Yet, at the same time, she felt a small, hardly noticeable pang in her chest.

Forever Land...she had promised herself she would go there some day and find everlasting happiness. But, with her bird gone...

She sighed, and then she giggled, and then maniacally laughed at the sky. It was such a joke! That's all it ever was. She was a fool to believe in such a dumb fairy tale. She fell for her own lies, wanting so desperately to believe she could find happiness in the outside world. Instead, she would have to settle for life at the orphanage. She would have to settle for "friends" who would hurt her and laugh at her misery. She would have to settle for hurting her "friends" and laughing at their misery. She would have to settle for everlasting unhappiness.

A thought suddenly came to her. She put down her bird cage in a safe spot, and pulled a nearby box over to the wooden banister. She climbed on top of it, and then stepped onto the banister. She held a hand onto a beam to steady herself, as she looked out to the open world in front of her.

She was going to sprout wings and fly. Maybe she didn't need that dumb bird after all. Who's to say she couldn't just fly on her own? Yes, she could leap into the welcoming air before her and soar away from this terrible place, she knew she could. Just take a leap of faith...either way, she would end up somewhere better than here. Anywhere was better than here. She bent her knees, she was about to take flight...

"...Eleanor?" She froze. She looked ready to jump, but the voice she seemed to freeze her solid, and she couldn't get herself to move.

"What are you doing?" She knew that voice. She was supposed to ignore that voice. So why couldn't she bring herself to move, or even block it out?

"Do...do you need help?" The voice was coming closer now. She both dreaded it and wanted it to come closer. It confused her, she was feeling something she didn't quite understand.

"I...I heard laughing...and then I saw you step up there, onto the banister." Darn, she hadn't thought she'd been that loud. She didn't even know why she had laughed like that. She was so confused.

"I-I know, that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, but..." She could sense a hand reaching out to her, but she didn't move a muscle. She felt the hand grab her own, and gently try to tug her away. She still refused to move.

"...Did you know that I've flown before?" She looked back at the voice, seeing a scared, tired face looking back at her. Her interest had definitely been piqued.

"Jennifer..." Eleanor looked curiously at her, and allowed herself to be pulled back enough to where she was kneeling back on the box. She was looking back to the outside world though, not wanting to see the poor, unfortunate girl behind her. She stayed silent, waiting for Jennifer to tell her story, and soon Jennifer caught on to the cue to speak.

"...We all like to pretend sometimes like we're on an airship. Well...I was actually on one once." Jennifer sounded sad as she spoke, but still Eleanor refused to look at her.

"Really now?" She asked. Jennifer seemed surprised, and wasn't sure if Eleanor believed her. "...Well? Keep going." It wasn't a command. There was a hint of interest in Eleanor's voice, so Jennifer decided to continue.

"My mummy and daddy brought me on one, when I was eight years old. It was such an amazing contraption, but..." Jennifer stopped for a moment, and it sounded like she was going to cry, but she still continued. "I don't know why, but it suddenly stopped flying after we got really high into the air, and it..." Jennifer sniffled and stopped talking, but Eleanor could guess what happened afterwards.

"...So it crashed then." Eleanor said bluntly, "What happened to your parents? You're still here."

Jennifer was still sniffling a bit, but forced herself to calm down and a control her breathing. Once she was sure her voice wouldn't be shaky, she answered Eleanor.

"They're just...gone. For some reason, I was the only one who lived." She was quiet for a moment or so, then said, "The only other person I've ever told this story to, is Wendy. She said the reason I survived was because I'm lucky. I think everyone else has got it right though..."

"...The poor, unfortunate girl." Eleanor looked back at Jennifer, and asked, "Why did you tell me this story?"

"Because I saw what you were about to do. What you really were about to do."

Eleanor's eyes widened slightly, and looked back ahead and up to the sky. She was still on her knees, and didn't look like she was going to neither jump nor get away from the edge. Internally though, she was a mess. First Thomas, now dirty Jennifer...why did these people seem to care about her, while Diana and Meg, her apparent "friends," were actively avoiding her?

"...Why do you even care?" She suddenly asked. "We're not friends. And this won't make me become your friend. You're not a dumb girl, so I'm sure you know that. So why do this?"

Jennifer was quiet, not sure of what to say. Words soon began to come out of her mouth, words that came naturally, that represented what she truly felt.

"It...it shouldn't matter. I don't want you to get hurt. That's why I tried to find your bird, but...I was too late. Please, forgive me for not saving your bir-"

"Don't apologize." Eleanor said firmly.

"Y-Yes, sorry," Jennifer apologized, soliciting a sigh from the Eleanor, "Maybe...maybe that's another reason. Why I tried to stop you, I mean. I didn't want you to hurt anymore."

"Then you should have let me fly." Eleanor looked back at Jennifer, looking her sternly in the eyes. "Fly, or fail...soar, or sorrow...it is my own choice to make, with consequences that would be only my own." She stood up, and faced the world once more. "There's nothing for me here. There's only one place that I belong, and there's only one way to get there."

"W-Wait!" Jennifer pleaded, "Please, I...I know of another way!"

Eleanor had one foot on the banister, having stopped moving once again. Why did she keep stopping? She had convinced herself that she would not hesitate to fly away...or, perhaps that was another lie, that not even she could truly convince herself of.

"...What...what is this way?" She asked hesitantly.

"Um, you know how Clara is going to be a grown up soon, right?" Jennifer asked anxiously, trying desperately to keep stalling Eleanor.

"Are you really going to use her, of all people, to convince me of not taking this leap?" Eleanor scoffed at her.

"Please! Listen!" Jennifer cried out, "Once we are old enough to become a grown up, we are free to choose what to do with our lives!"

"Yes, and Clara chose to stay in this wretched place." Eleanor sighed, shaking her head. "You're not making a very good argument for yourself, Jennifer."

"But that's just it! It's a choice! A choice you get to make when you have more than just the one option you have in front of you now!" Jennifer was struggling to hold back tears at this point, and it was audible in her voice. "Before, back when your bird went missing, you asked me if I had found what I was looking for. Something dear to me...well, I believe I have. And, I believe you can find the thing dear to you as well, somewhere out in the world. But if you make this decision to leap into the sky, right here and now, you'll never have the chance to find it! It'll be gone, forever."

The two girls were quiet for quite some time. Neither moved a muscle for what seemed like years, though in reality it was only a minute or so until Eleanor eventually began to step down from the banister and box and back onto the floor.

"Fine." That's all Eleanor seemed to have to say. Jennifer let out a sigh of relief, having held her breath in her nervousness. Eleanor picked her bird cage back up, and looked at Jennifer.

"...One day, you will lose the thing most dear to you, one way or another." She told Jennifer, "What will you do then?"

Jennifer didn't know. What would she do? She...she'd probably go crazy, if she lost her most dear thing. It was so important to her, it would break her it was taken away from her. But...she would recover. She knew she would, it...it what they would want for her.

"...I would keep the memory of the thing most dear to me alive." Jennifer slowly answered. "I might go into despair before doing so, but in the end, I would never let it be truly gone. I'll always protect it...forever and ever, until I die."

Eleanor gave her a curious look. It made Jennifer nervous, and she wondered what she would say or do. Eventually, Eleanor closed her eyes, looking deep in thought before opening them again.

"I see." She said simply, before walking away to head back inside, "I will...see you later, Jennifer. Good bye..."

Jennifer could have sworn that, as she passed by, she could see the faintest showing of a genuine smile on the Cold Princess's face. Perhaps it would not last long, and as it would later turn out, it wouldn't. But this moment of happiness was one of many memories Jennifer would later protect.

Forever and ever.


End file.
